Oh Shit

Harper gets away with a lot because she is five months old. It is not as if we expect her to understand that it is not a good thing to wipe your dinner all over your face, scream and cry every time you want something, or not to poop when ever and were ever you please. These little life lessons come with time, when she is old enough to reason. Skylar and I have looked forward to this age of reason as if it is some bliss on the horizon, where kids do what you want them to do because they understand why.

This is a lie, as we found out at lunch with a buddy and his 3 year old, Logan, recently.

Logan did not want to eat his lunch. He wanted to play with his trains. His farther tried to explain even trains need a lunch break. This did not go over well. There was a lot of ‘reasoning’ back and forth, banging of trains, pouting, and little food was consumed. Meanwhile, Harper reclined happily in her car seat, propped up in the upside down high chair. She watched the ceiling fan quietly, content. I took a moment to appreciate her age. A fan can hold her attention endlessly. She cannot talk back.

She began to get squirmy, so I picked her up from her car seat, bounced her on my knee. She was content again, and oddly sticky. Sticky? How could that be? It is not as if she is mobile enough to get into stuff. Ick, it was the stick of POO! While watching the ceiling fan, she had a blow out in her car seat. There was poo all over her back, the car seat, and now, ME! Panic. Skylar and I rushed her to the lady’s room, which as luck would have it, did not have a changing table. After crouching on the bathroom floor and wiping her down, her back, tush, arms, you name it, we emerged with a clean baby in only a diaper. Of course, I forgot to bring a change of clothes for her. We headed to the nearest Old Navy and longed for the days when she will be potty trained (even if she will be able to ‘reason’.)


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