Tag Archives: poop

Pack It Up

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She is cute, right.  I mean, come on.  I’m her mom, I might not be objective about her all the time, but she is way cute.

Her poo smells.  I mean bad.  Like, ‘Why did I not even try elimination communication!?!’ bad.  What can I do (other than hand her over to Skylar)?  Is there some magic make my baby’s poo stop smelling like feral dogs who eat stick bombs and roll in possum doo food?

Any-who, we are headed out to Florida, to spend Christmas with Skylar’s parents.  This morning, the weather channel was predicting a high of 2 and a low of 1 in Chicago tomorrow.  There is probably a foot or more of snow out there, too.  Aaa, Florida!  I cannot wait.  Sun, swimming, and please, oh please, a break from this eczema that has taken over our family.  We are very dry and very uncomfortable. 

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That not so Fresh Feeling

Yesterday, I was on the phone with my mom, deeply involved in a conversation as I always am when she calls, when Harper started fussing a bit.  I told my mom, “Oh, she just wants some attention.”  as I picked her up and moved her to a new location in the living room.  She calmed down, as she always does when presented with a toy and location she has seen for five minutes.  So I went on with the conversation.  

Some time passed.  I felt something moist on my robe.  I looked down and saw I has brown stuff all over me.  

It took a minute to register, I was covered in poo.  Harper wanted attention because she had the blow out of her life, and rather than fixing it, I had inadvertently wiped it all over myself.  I have heard if situations like this, called Poojinked.  And so, I cleaned us both up, and went on with my day.  Shit happens.

When putting the baby to sleep last night, I was rocking her in my arms softly singing a lullaby.  Her eyelids were heavy, body limp and soft, nuzzling in under my chin when I felt something wet.  She peed on me.  I don’t know how it happened, but it did.  It was worse than the poo, in that  it soaked my clothes and body.

There was a time, after we had the baby, I considered it a major accomplishment if I got dressed that day.  I thought, with time, I would be able to put myself together with more ease.  Now it is just an accomplishment to not be covered in baby waste. 

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Solid Foods, who-da thunk it’d be so hard

So a while ago we started Harper on solid foods. I admit, I’m not a parent who reads about parenting. I do things on demand, and have a pretty demanding child.  (I have not idea where she gets it.) So who needs books, right? Solid food. I eat it all the time. They make it for babies, and sell it in glass jars at the store. Open the jar. Feed the baby. Yea! Solid Food!

If I had been a bit more cautious, like most first time parents that know where the parenting section of their local library is, frequent Barns and Noble or Borders or what have you, and look stuff up on-line, my child would not have had diarrhea for 3 DAYS! Her poor bum is red. I have been changing diapers endlessly. There is so much poop, green and clumpy or yellow and wet. Damn you multi-grain infant serial! Ugh. One grain at a time, one grain at a time. Not rice serial, and then multi grain.

Oops.

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